i went viral in 2016 without being consulted. i moved to somerset in 2019. i grow courgettes. the internet keeps scheduling my comeback. i did not book the tour. the courgettes are doing well.
somerset · a tuesday · 4:12pm
was not asked. did not consent. became a thing. seventeen configurations since. did not arrange any of them.
converted. somerset. south-facing. good light. planted first courgettes. they came up crooked but they came up.
closed all accounts. felt quiet. someone made a new account for me three weeks later. 2.3 million followers now. i have not logged in.
from a podcast. they wanted me on the podcast. they said it would be a comfortable chat. i did not reply. the marrows were coming in.
the 47th one. the pumpkin is bigger. i was in the garden. i did not read the article. i have been told it was fine.
sun on the back wall. aphids gone. kettle on. the internet is doing whatever it is doing. the courgettes are, on balance, doing better.
somerset · 2026
